Drastic lifestyle changes call for drastic “WHAT ARE YOU NUTS?!” reactions from people in your life.
Venturing out of your comfort zone threatens other people’s comfort zones in a number of ways:
- OMG! She’s going to be skinnier then MEEEE!
- You can’t stop drinking. Who will be MY drinking partner?
- Vegetarian? You aren’t serious. I’ll give you a week.
It’s always about THEM. How you losing weight will make them look. How you cutting out bad behaviors will leave them with nothing to do. How your goals won’t be met because they can never accomplish theirs.
So they push back.
Sometimes people get angry. What, you’re better than pizza and burgers now? You don’t want to go to the after party? What the hell is going on?! Others may play a guilt trip while sabotaging your efforts. C’mon, we ALWAYS go to happy hour on Fridays. You’re just going to leave me hanging like that? One drink won’t hurt . . .
As you are making changes, others feel left out of your life. It makes those around you, who have shared in wing nights, flip cup tournaments, and too many Oktoberfests to remember, feel as if you are saying what they do stinks too. It leaves them having to look in the mirror. If she feels like the bar scene is killing her, is it killing me too? We personalize everything these days.
Your dress is so pretty! (She didn’t say that to me. I guess my dress is ugly!)
You look good. (He never tells me that, I must look bad!)
I’ve got other plans, next time! (Just say you hate me already!)
GET A GRIP PEOPLE!
It’s like you must have the consummate “It’s not you, it’s me” conversation. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not EVERYONE. Just those that aren’t happy with themselves in the first place.
Change is hard. It’s hard on everyone.
I just hope to inspire people with mine.